fbpx
  • Latest
  • Trending

The Weight Of Empathy

2 years ago
The Death of Privacy In America

The Death of Privacy In America

2 months ago
America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

2 months ago
Who Was Responsible For Fake News?

Who Was Responsible For Fake News?

4 months ago
When Billionaires Don’t Pay Taxes, People “Lose Faith in Democracy”

When Billionaires Don’t Pay Taxes, People “Lose Faith in Democracy”

4 months ago
Book Banning Is Only The Tip Of The Spear

Book Banning Is Only The Tip Of The Spear

4 months ago
A Push to Remove LGBTQ Books in One County Could Signal Rising Partisanship on School Boards

A Push to Remove LGBTQ Books in One County Could Signal Rising Partisanship on School Boards

4 months ago
Get Vaxxed If You Want To Play Indoors

Get Vaxxed If You Want To Play Indoors

6 months ago
There’s Something About Mary

There’s Something About Mary

7 months ago
End Of An Era

End Of An Era

8 months ago
The Shocking Kindness Of Ted Lasso

The Shocking Kindness Of Ted Lasso

9 months ago
Your Objections To Development Are Counter-Productive

Your Objections To Development Are Counter-Productive

9 months ago
Mary, Covered In Roses

Mary, Covered In Roses

1 year ago
  • About
  • Privacy
  • Subscribe
  • Contact
  • Login
  • Register
69 °f
Middle Township
73 ° Sat
73 ° Sun
68 ° Mon
64 ° Tue
The Standard
  • Home
    • All
    • Business
    • Culture
    • Education
    • Environment
    • Health
    • Housing
    • Immigration
    • Justice
    • Letters
    • Local
    • Media
    • Military
    • National
    • New Jersey
    • Opinion
    • Politics
    • Satire
    The Death of Privacy In America

    The Death of Privacy In America

    America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

    America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

    Who Was Responsible For Fake News?

    Who Was Responsible For Fake News?

    When Billionaires Don’t Pay Taxes, People “Lose Faith in Democracy”

    When Billionaires Don’t Pay Taxes, People “Lose Faith in Democracy”

    Book Banning Is Only The Tip Of The Spear

    Book Banning Is Only The Tip Of The Spear

    A Push to Remove LGBTQ Books in One County Could Signal Rising Partisanship on School Boards

    A Push to Remove LGBTQ Books in One County Could Signal Rising Partisanship on School Boards

    Get Vaxxed If You Want To Play Indoors

    Get Vaxxed If You Want To Play Indoors

    There’s Something About Mary

    There’s Something About Mary

    End Of An Era

    End Of An Era

    Trending Tags

    • Politics
      The Death of Privacy In America

      The Death of Privacy In America

      America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

      America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

      Who Was Responsible For Fake News?

      Who Was Responsible For Fake News?

      When Billionaires Don’t Pay Taxes, People “Lose Faith in Democracy”

      When Billionaires Don’t Pay Taxes, People “Lose Faith in Democracy”

      Book Banning Is Only The Tip Of The Spear

      Book Banning Is Only The Tip Of The Spear

      A Push to Remove LGBTQ Books in One County Could Signal Rising Partisanship on School Boards

      A Push to Remove LGBTQ Books in One County Could Signal Rising Partisanship on School Boards

      End Of An Era

      End Of An Era

      Death And Taxes: The Right’s Last Stand

      Death And Taxes: The Right’s Last Stand

      Rep Jeff Van Drew Calls For Fencing To Be Removed Despite Threats To Capitol

      Rep Jeff Van Drew Calls For Fencing To Be Removed Despite Threats To Capitol

      Democrats Look To Regain A Foothold in Middle Township With Quanette Vasser-McNeal

      Democrats Look To Regain A Foothold in Middle Township With Quanette Vasser-McNeal

      Trending Tags

      • politics
    • Justice
      There’s Something About Mary

      There’s Something About Mary

      Middle Police Arrest Suspect In Connection With Stolen Guns in Cape May Court House

      Police Detectives Charged With Lying About Bar Fight In North Wildwood

      Middle Police Arrest Suspect In Connection With Stolen Guns in Cape May Court House

      Middle Police Arrest Suspect In Connection With Stolen Guns in Cape May Court House

      South Jersey’s Sanctuary City Designations Are A Haven For Violent Extremists

      South Jersey’s Sanctuary City Designations Are A Haven For Violent Extremists

      New Jersey Man Steals Police Car, Fatally Shot After Chase

      New Jersey Man Steals Police Car, Fatally Shot After Chase

      “This Political Climate Got My Brother Killed”: Officer Brian Sicknick Died Defending the Capitol. His Family Waits for Answers.

      “This Political Climate Got My Brother Killed”: Officer Brian Sicknick Died Defending the Capitol. His Family Waits for Answers.

      Florida Man Who Went Viral For Stealing Podium Identified

      Florida Man Who Went Viral For Stealing Podium Identified

      Defund The Police Was A Raging Success And Everyone Missed It

      Defund The Police Was A Raging Success And Everyone Missed It

      Non-Violence Isn’t A Just Moral Imperative, It’s A Superior Strategy

      Non-Violence Isn’t A Just Moral Imperative, It’s A Superior Strategy

      The Future Of The Supreme Court

      The Future Of The Supreme Court

      Trending Tags

      • Justice
    • Business
      When Billionaires Don’t Pay Taxes, People “Lose Faith in Democracy”

      When Billionaires Don’t Pay Taxes, People “Lose Faith in Democracy”

      Your Objections To Development Are Counter-Productive

      Your Objections To Development Are Counter-Productive

      Strong Grassroots Opposition Continues To Plague NESE Pipeline’s Fifth Attempt

      Strong Grassroots Opposition Continues To Plague NESE Pipeline’s Fifth Attempt

      The Power Of The People

      The Power Of The People

      Your Misplaced Loyalty Is Hurting Your Business

      Your Misplaced Loyalty Is Hurting Your Business

      It’s Not The End Of The World, But You Can See It From Here

      It’s Not The End Of The World, But You Can See It From Here

      You Are Not Welcome Here

      You Are Not Welcome Here

      Trending Tags

      • Environment
        Strong Grassroots Opposition Continues To Plague NESE Pipeline’s Fifth Attempt

        Strong Grassroots Opposition Continues To Plague NESE Pipeline’s Fifth Attempt

        New Female Snow Leopard Arrives In Cape May County

        New Female Snow Leopard Arrives In Cape May County

        Jackson Park Project A Threat To Clean Water

        Jackson Park Project A Threat To Clean Water

        Fixin Things Till They’re Broke

        Fixin Things Till They’re Broke

        Trending Tags

        • Education
          Book Banning Is Only The Tip Of The Spear

          Book Banning Is Only The Tip Of The Spear

          A Push to Remove LGBTQ Books in One County Could Signal Rising Partisanship on School Boards

          A Push to Remove LGBTQ Books in One County Could Signal Rising Partisanship on School Boards

          Award-Winning Children’s Author Greg Pizzoli Planning A Virtual Visit To Cape May

          Award-Winning Children’s Author Greg Pizzoli Planning A Virtual Visit To Cape May

          Gold, Lies, And Genocide In The New World

          Gold, Lies, And Genocide In The New World

          Social Distancing Fails At Ocean City High School

          Social Distancing Fails At Ocean City High School

          The Covid Kids Are Alright

          The Covid Kids Are Alright

          The Problem With The Pledge Of Allegiance

          The Problem With The Pledge Of Allegiance

          A Boat Full Of Holes

          A Boat Full Of Holes

          Why I Don’t Worry About My Kids Falling Behind

          Why I Don’t Worry About My Kids Falling Behind

          Any Plan To Reopen Schools This Fall Is Irresponsible And Negligent

          Any Plan To Reopen Schools This Fall Is Irresponsible And Negligent

          Trending Tags

          • Education
        • Housing
          There’s Something About Mary

          There’s Something About Mary

          Your Objections To Development Are Counter-Productive

          Your Objections To Development Are Counter-Productive

          Mary, Covered In Roses

          Mary, Covered In Roses

          Code Blue Is No April Fool’s Joke

          Code Blue Is No April Fool’s Joke

          Let the Voters Decide

          Cape May’s Untouchables

          The Cost Of Homelessness in Cape May County

          The Cost Of Homelessness in Cape May County

          The Myth Of American Justice: Falling Through The Cracks Part Two

          Falling Through The Cracks: Part One

          Falling Through The Cracks: Part One

          Invisible Walls

          Invisible Walls

        • Culture
          America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

          America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

          There’s Something About Mary

          There’s Something About Mary

          The Shocking Kindness Of Ted Lasso

          The Shocking Kindness Of Ted Lasso

          What Your Ring Tone Says About You

          What Your Ring Tone Says About You

          Award-Winning Children’s Author Greg Pizzoli Planning A Virtual Visit To Cape May

          Award-Winning Children’s Author Greg Pizzoli Planning A Virtual Visit To Cape May

          A View Of Goshen In Winter

          A View Of Goshen In Winter

          New Female Snow Leopard Arrives In Cape May County

          New Female Snow Leopard Arrives In Cape May County

          Peepers And Pizza: Spring Comes To New Jersey

          Peepers And Pizza: Spring Comes To New Jersey

          The Power Of The People

          The Power Of The People

          Your Misplaced Loyalty Is Hurting Your Business

          Your Misplaced Loyalty Is Hurting Your Business

          Trending Tags

          • Sports

            Trending Tags

            • Health
              America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

              America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

              Get Vaxxed If You Want To Play Indoors

              Get Vaxxed If You Want To Play Indoors

              There’s Something About Mary

              There’s Something About Mary

              Mary, Covered In Roses

              Mary, Covered In Roses

              Autism Awareness Day

              Autism Awareness Day

              Code Blue Is No April Fool’s Joke

              Code Blue Is No April Fool’s Joke

              You’ve Been Fully Vaccinated, Now What?

              You’ve Been Fully Vaccinated, Now What?

              The Disney Queue Of Vaccinations

              The Disney Queue Of Vaccinations

              It’s Going To Get Worse

              It’s Going To Get Worse

              Social Distancing Fails At Ocean City High School

              Social Distancing Fails At Ocean City High School

              Trending Tags

              • Healthcare
            • Opinion
              The Death of Privacy In America

              The Death of Privacy In America

              Death And Taxes: The Right’s Last Stand

              Death And Taxes: The Right’s Last Stand

              South Jersey’s Sanctuary City Designations Are A Haven For Violent Extremists

              South Jersey’s Sanctuary City Designations Are A Haven For Violent Extremists

              We Need Amy Kennedy Now

              An Open Letter To Congressman Van Drew

              Donald Trump Must Be Held To Account For His Crimes

              Donald Trump Must Be Held
              To Account For His Crimes

              All Our Sons

              All Our Sons

              It’s Not Enough For Joe Biden To Simply Be Human

              It’s Not Enough For Joe Biden
              To Simply Be Human

              We Have To Stop Trusting Our Leaders To Do The Right Thing

              We Have To Stop Trusting Our Leaders To Do The Right Thing

              The Godless Piety Of American Idealism As Reality Television

              The Godless Piety Of American Idealism As Reality Television

              Why We Can’t Talk About It

              Why We Can’t Talk About It

              Trending Tags

              No Result
              View All Result
              • Home
                • All
                • Business
                • Culture
                • Education
                • Environment
                • Health
                • Housing
                • Immigration
                • Justice
                • Letters
                • Local
                • Media
                • Military
                • National
                • New Jersey
                • Opinion
                • Politics
                • Satire
                The Death of Privacy In America

                The Death of Privacy In America

                America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

                America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

                Who Was Responsible For Fake News?

                Who Was Responsible For Fake News?

                When Billionaires Don’t Pay Taxes, People “Lose Faith in Democracy”

                When Billionaires Don’t Pay Taxes, People “Lose Faith in Democracy”

                Book Banning Is Only The Tip Of The Spear

                Book Banning Is Only The Tip Of The Spear

                A Push to Remove LGBTQ Books in One County Could Signal Rising Partisanship on School Boards

                A Push to Remove LGBTQ Books in One County Could Signal Rising Partisanship on School Boards

                Get Vaxxed If You Want To Play Indoors

                Get Vaxxed If You Want To Play Indoors

                There’s Something About Mary

                There’s Something About Mary

                End Of An Era

                End Of An Era

                Trending Tags

                • Politics
                  The Death of Privacy In America

                  The Death of Privacy In America

                  America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

                  America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

                  Who Was Responsible For Fake News?

                  Who Was Responsible For Fake News?

                  When Billionaires Don’t Pay Taxes, People “Lose Faith in Democracy”

                  When Billionaires Don’t Pay Taxes, People “Lose Faith in Democracy”

                  Book Banning Is Only The Tip Of The Spear

                  Book Banning Is Only The Tip Of The Spear

                  A Push to Remove LGBTQ Books in One County Could Signal Rising Partisanship on School Boards

                  A Push to Remove LGBTQ Books in One County Could Signal Rising Partisanship on School Boards

                  End Of An Era

                  End Of An Era

                  Death And Taxes: The Right’s Last Stand

                  Death And Taxes: The Right’s Last Stand

                  Rep Jeff Van Drew Calls For Fencing To Be Removed Despite Threats To Capitol

                  Rep Jeff Van Drew Calls For Fencing To Be Removed Despite Threats To Capitol

                  Democrats Look To Regain A Foothold in Middle Township With Quanette Vasser-McNeal

                  Democrats Look To Regain A Foothold in Middle Township With Quanette Vasser-McNeal

                  Trending Tags

                  • politics
                • Justice
                  There’s Something About Mary

                  There’s Something About Mary

                  Middle Police Arrest Suspect In Connection With Stolen Guns in Cape May Court House

                  Police Detectives Charged With Lying About Bar Fight In North Wildwood

                  Middle Police Arrest Suspect In Connection With Stolen Guns in Cape May Court House

                  Middle Police Arrest Suspect In Connection With Stolen Guns in Cape May Court House

                  South Jersey’s Sanctuary City Designations Are A Haven For Violent Extremists

                  South Jersey’s Sanctuary City Designations Are A Haven For Violent Extremists

                  New Jersey Man Steals Police Car, Fatally Shot After Chase

                  New Jersey Man Steals Police Car, Fatally Shot After Chase

                  “This Political Climate Got My Brother Killed”: Officer Brian Sicknick Died Defending the Capitol. His Family Waits for Answers.

                  “This Political Climate Got My Brother Killed”: Officer Brian Sicknick Died Defending the Capitol. His Family Waits for Answers.

                  Florida Man Who Went Viral For Stealing Podium Identified

                  Florida Man Who Went Viral For Stealing Podium Identified

                  Defund The Police Was A Raging Success And Everyone Missed It

                  Defund The Police Was A Raging Success And Everyone Missed It

                  Non-Violence Isn’t A Just Moral Imperative, It’s A Superior Strategy

                  Non-Violence Isn’t A Just Moral Imperative, It’s A Superior Strategy

                  The Future Of The Supreme Court

                  The Future Of The Supreme Court

                  Trending Tags

                  • Justice
                • Business
                  When Billionaires Don’t Pay Taxes, People “Lose Faith in Democracy”

                  When Billionaires Don’t Pay Taxes, People “Lose Faith in Democracy”

                  Your Objections To Development Are Counter-Productive

                  Your Objections To Development Are Counter-Productive

                  Strong Grassroots Opposition Continues To Plague NESE Pipeline’s Fifth Attempt

                  Strong Grassroots Opposition Continues To Plague NESE Pipeline’s Fifth Attempt

                  The Power Of The People

                  The Power Of The People

                  Your Misplaced Loyalty Is Hurting Your Business

                  Your Misplaced Loyalty Is Hurting Your Business

                  It’s Not The End Of The World, But You Can See It From Here

                  It’s Not The End Of The World, But You Can See It From Here

                  You Are Not Welcome Here

                  You Are Not Welcome Here

                  Trending Tags

                  • Environment
                    Strong Grassroots Opposition Continues To Plague NESE Pipeline’s Fifth Attempt

                    Strong Grassroots Opposition Continues To Plague NESE Pipeline’s Fifth Attempt

                    New Female Snow Leopard Arrives In Cape May County

                    New Female Snow Leopard Arrives In Cape May County

                    Jackson Park Project A Threat To Clean Water

                    Jackson Park Project A Threat To Clean Water

                    Fixin Things Till They’re Broke

                    Fixin Things Till They’re Broke

                    Trending Tags

                    • Education
                      Book Banning Is Only The Tip Of The Spear

                      Book Banning Is Only The Tip Of The Spear

                      A Push to Remove LGBTQ Books in One County Could Signal Rising Partisanship on School Boards

                      A Push to Remove LGBTQ Books in One County Could Signal Rising Partisanship on School Boards

                      Award-Winning Children’s Author Greg Pizzoli Planning A Virtual Visit To Cape May

                      Award-Winning Children’s Author Greg Pizzoli Planning A Virtual Visit To Cape May

                      Gold, Lies, And Genocide In The New World

                      Gold, Lies, And Genocide In The New World

                      Social Distancing Fails At Ocean City High School

                      Social Distancing Fails At Ocean City High School

                      The Covid Kids Are Alright

                      The Covid Kids Are Alright

                      The Problem With The Pledge Of Allegiance

                      The Problem With The Pledge Of Allegiance

                      A Boat Full Of Holes

                      A Boat Full Of Holes

                      Why I Don’t Worry About My Kids Falling Behind

                      Why I Don’t Worry About My Kids Falling Behind

                      Any Plan To Reopen Schools This Fall Is Irresponsible And Negligent

                      Any Plan To Reopen Schools This Fall Is Irresponsible And Negligent

                      Trending Tags

                      • Education
                    • Housing
                      There’s Something About Mary

                      There’s Something About Mary

                      Your Objections To Development Are Counter-Productive

                      Your Objections To Development Are Counter-Productive

                      Mary, Covered In Roses

                      Mary, Covered In Roses

                      Code Blue Is No April Fool’s Joke

                      Code Blue Is No April Fool’s Joke

                      Let the Voters Decide

                      Cape May’s Untouchables

                      The Cost Of Homelessness in Cape May County

                      The Cost Of Homelessness in Cape May County

                      The Myth Of American Justice: Falling Through The Cracks Part Two

                      Falling Through The Cracks: Part One

                      Falling Through The Cracks: Part One

                      Invisible Walls

                      Invisible Walls

                    • Culture
                      America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

                      America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

                      There’s Something About Mary

                      There’s Something About Mary

                      The Shocking Kindness Of Ted Lasso

                      The Shocking Kindness Of Ted Lasso

                      What Your Ring Tone Says About You

                      What Your Ring Tone Says About You

                      Award-Winning Children’s Author Greg Pizzoli Planning A Virtual Visit To Cape May

                      Award-Winning Children’s Author Greg Pizzoli Planning A Virtual Visit To Cape May

                      A View Of Goshen In Winter

                      A View Of Goshen In Winter

                      New Female Snow Leopard Arrives In Cape May County

                      New Female Snow Leopard Arrives In Cape May County

                      Peepers And Pizza: Spring Comes To New Jersey

                      Peepers And Pizza: Spring Comes To New Jersey

                      The Power Of The People

                      The Power Of The People

                      Your Misplaced Loyalty Is Hurting Your Business

                      Your Misplaced Loyalty Is Hurting Your Business

                      Trending Tags

                      • Sports

                        Trending Tags

                        • Health
                          America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

                          America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

                          Get Vaxxed If You Want To Play Indoors

                          Get Vaxxed If You Want To Play Indoors

                          There’s Something About Mary

                          There’s Something About Mary

                          Mary, Covered In Roses

                          Mary, Covered In Roses

                          Autism Awareness Day

                          Autism Awareness Day

                          Code Blue Is No April Fool’s Joke

                          Code Blue Is No April Fool’s Joke

                          You’ve Been Fully Vaccinated, Now What?

                          You’ve Been Fully Vaccinated, Now What?

                          The Disney Queue Of Vaccinations

                          The Disney Queue Of Vaccinations

                          It’s Going To Get Worse

                          It’s Going To Get Worse

                          Social Distancing Fails At Ocean City High School

                          Social Distancing Fails At Ocean City High School

                          Trending Tags

                          • Healthcare
                        • Opinion
                          The Death of Privacy In America

                          The Death of Privacy In America

                          Death And Taxes: The Right’s Last Stand

                          Death And Taxes: The Right’s Last Stand

                          South Jersey’s Sanctuary City Designations Are A Haven For Violent Extremists

                          South Jersey’s Sanctuary City Designations Are A Haven For Violent Extremists

                          We Need Amy Kennedy Now

                          An Open Letter To Congressman Van Drew

                          Donald Trump Must Be Held To Account For His Crimes

                          Donald Trump Must Be Held
                          To Account For His Crimes

                          All Our Sons

                          All Our Sons

                          It’s Not Enough For Joe Biden To Simply Be Human

                          It’s Not Enough For Joe Biden
                          To Simply Be Human

                          We Have To Stop Trusting Our Leaders To Do The Right Thing

                          We Have To Stop Trusting Our Leaders To Do The Right Thing

                          The Godless Piety Of American Idealism As Reality Television

                          The Godless Piety Of American Idealism As Reality Television

                          Why We Can’t Talk About It

                          Why We Can’t Talk About It

                          Trending Tags

                          • About
                          • Privacy
                          • Subscribe
                          • Contact
                          No Result
                          View All Result
                          The Standard
                          No Result
                          View All Result
                          Home Culture

                          The Weight Of Empathy

                          byDavid Todd McCarty
                          2 years ago
                          inCulture
                          Reading Time: 9 mins read
                          214
                          0

                          Photo by Marliese Streefland on Unsplash

                          182
                          SHARES
                          256
                          VIEWS
                          Share on FacebookShare on TwitterEmail this story!

                          The enormous cost of being empathetic in a fractious world, the danger of melting snow, the merits of unconditional love, the wisdom of dogs, and pumpkin pie.

                          By David Todd McCarty | Friday, October 30, 2020

                          I do not ask a wounded person how he feels,
                          I myself become the wounded person,
                          My hurt turns livid upon me
                          as I lean on a cane and observe.

                          Walt Whitman

                          He’s got a mind like a sewer and a heart like a fridge.
                          He stands to be insulted and he pays for the privilege.

                          Elvis Costello

                          Everyone cares, but not everyone really gives a shit. 

                          That’s the takeaway for a large percentage of Americans who have a tendency to overinternalize the pain and misery of others. Empathy, in and of itself, is not automatically a virtue, any more than it is a weakness. It can be a powerful tool in the path to understanding, but it can also be a curse. When not tempered with practical reason, it can cause an individual to overreact to input that could otherwise be received with a certain amount of distance.

                          Sympathy and empathy are sometimes viewed as interchangeable descriptions for the same emotional reaction, but they are not the same. The difference in meaning is often explained with some variation of the following: sympathy is when you share the feelings of another; empathy is when you understand the feelings of another but do not necessarily share them. 

                          That has always seemed to fall short in explaining our ability to project or reflect on the experience of another without directly having experienced it ourself.

                          I would posit that sympathy is the ability to share the feelings of another, to share an expression of  sorrow or joy with another, to say to oneself, “that person is happy, and that makes me happy.” 

                          Empathy on the other hand is what Whitman was getting at when he described becoming the wounded person—to actually feel the pain of the wound, not just imagine what it might feel like emotionally to be wounded.

                          Empathy in this context involves a greater depth of projection, a more visceral connection beyond imagining an emotion, to what might be considered an alternative reality.

                          This is not to say that those who experience empathy in this way are somehow superior to those who do not. In fact, you could argue that such an ability is a weakness bordering on a handicap. The idea of the empath feeling others emotions so easily and freely may imply that the empath has no ability to cut themselves off from the pain of others. If that were the case, one would become overwhelmed with the pain of others, unable to process it differently than that of their own.

                          If you accept that there are those who internalize the pain of others at a deep enough level as to become real, you might also be able to imagine that it would be difficult to imagine how others could be so indifferent to the pain they feel. How can your neighbor not see that their Trump flag is not merely an expression of political identity or even tribal pride, but an expression of cruelty designed to dehumanize?

                          This is why liberals have so often been accused of being as delicate as snowflakes. They wear their hearts on their sleeves and lack the armor to deflect even the slightest insult or negative comment. In the worst cases, there is some truth to this intended insult. Liberally-minded people can be too quick to be offended, taking everything as a personal attack since an attack on anyone, is conceivably an attack on them. But liberals are not the only ones who have become hyper-aware of attacks on their tribal identity. Conservatives have an increasingly long list of complaints and grievances that they feel illustrate their status as victims in a liberal-leaning media ecosystem.

                          If sympathy is sharing and empathy is understanding, we might see them as two data points on the same continuum, illustrating differing depths of acceptance. But there is no doubt that there are plenty of factors that get in the way of even basic sympathy.

                          An inability to see another’s humanity blocks our ability to sympathize with them. When we dehumanize a group, we remove our ability to share anything with them, emotional or otherwise. In the case of deep seated racism, sexism and other forms of bigotry, being able to characterize a group as beyond your ability to care, enables you to remove their individual humanity, thereby giving you license to treat them badly without the need to feel their pain.

                          But don’t be fooled into believing that you have a lock on empathy and it’s everyone else who is unable to experience the emotions of another.

                          You can not tell me how to feel about a thing, just as I cannot instruct you as to how you should feel about your experiences. There can be no argument about how I feel as that is an absolute fact, an incontestable reality. You may choose to ignore how I feel, as is your right. You may also even argue that how I feel is predicated on bad information, but the feeling remains the same.

                          There are indeed instances where we have developed an emotional reaction to a situation based on our own cognitive biases, or bad intel. While not easy to do, our biases can be corrected, new input can be considered, which might change our perceptions and therefore how we feel about the world around us. But as well know, our biases run deep and are not easily displaced once set. 

                          So if how we feel is an incontrovertible fact, and how we perceive the world around us is based on our emotional reaction to it, it’s easy to see how cognitive biases are so hard to counteract. You’re asking for nothing less than someone to suspend their understanding of reality. As a rational human being, who would willingly do that? Asking someone to question their own reality is asking them to question life itself.

                          As bleeding-heart liberals, it’s easy to imagine ourselves as the empaths and the forces of evil as emotionally-detached cretins incapable of complex thought. 

                          Don’t wait for more, that’s the statement. Go back and read that sentence again. 

                          Photo by Ryan Walton on Unsplash

                          It’s easy to hold ourselves up as the heroes isn’t it? You’re waiting for the but, even though we should sit here for a minute and accept our own cognitive biases towards the members of the other tribe.

                          Yeah but, we want to scream, what about….? Yes, what about that? The truth is we can’t do anything to help anyone other than ourselves. In fact, forget about your own group and concentrate only on you for the time being. What can you do about the world? Not much. In fact, almost nothing.

                          Empathy is a particularly unique aspect of human existence. Dogs aren’t spending a lot of time wondering what we’re thinking about, because like human babies, they have no understanding of self. They assume that we’re actually thinking about whatever they’re thinking about. It’s why they assume we’re just as excited about going for a walk or dinnertime as they are. Who wouldn’t be, after all?

                          It’s painful for me to say this, and I really don’t want to, but the only real chance we have of changing another person’s mind is to love them. 

                          I know, I know. I’m disgusted myself. I hate saccharine, feel-good, Pollyanna bullshit. You went this far with me, even after I lured you with Elvis Costello lyrics and fed you talking dogs, only to give you a nursery rhyme in the guise of a Sunday school lesson. But wait, it gets worse.

                          Not only do we have to <gulp> love other people, we have to actually love them well. Listen, this is going to go a lot easier if you’ll stop gagging. Take a deep breath. Let’s press on.

                          There is nothing harder than loving another human being you disagree with. Love so much that you want to understand them, on a deep enough level that you’re willing to give up your own beliefs, in order to understand theirs. 

                          In fact, it’s so hard that few, if any, of us ever bother to go that far. It’s too damn hard.

                          It’s not without mortal danger either, as you risk giving up your very identity. What’s next, you ask, we’re all going to run around goose-stepping to country music (not an easy thing to do) and talking about the various merits of semi-automatic shotguns over handguns when it comes to home defense? Maybe we could spend some quality time worrying over Beyonce’s involvement in the Illuminati and wether the government is using chem trails to control us.

                          Now think about what you’re asking your white, 47-year old, Republican cousin Fred to do, when you ask him to put aside his long-held beliefs, and contemplate the particular challenges that a Black trans woman has when it comes to using a crowded restroom or shopping for undergarments at Walmart. He’s got a better shot at telling you what’s on the dog’s mind.

                          Look, I don’t always know what I’m going to write about when I sit down to work out my frustrations on the keyboard, and you’ll forgive me if I didn’t study the matter for months before asking you to read my random thoughts on the wisdom of labradors, fascists and your uncle Fred. But it’s going to be Thanksgiving before we know it, and we may be forced to have some uncomfortable conversations over pumpkin pie. We might as well be prepared for a few of them. Think of it as a practice run.

                          Not to mention that depending on what happens next Tuesday (and beyond), almost anything could happen, from the end of the world to the salvation of western democracy, so we might as well open our minds up to new possibilities beyond our current biased thinking.

                          If there is any karmic justice in the world, which is an existential question beyond my limited understanding of the meaning of life, we will have elected a new President by the time we sit down to say grace over turkey. There may even be an opportunity to listen to the hopes and fears of your despondent family members who view the threat of socialism as the embodiment of every horror ever conceived by man, coming for their guns and balls. It’s a scary time.

                          Maybe you could imagine what that might be like. The fear of it all.

                          Of course if Trump wins, it’s quite likely I’ll be publishing revised excerpts from the Anarchists Cookbook and organizing preemptive strikes against the fascist regime while planning for the inevitable moment they come to take me away.

                          But I’ve already imagined what that will be like, so I’m way ahead of them.

                          Give the trans girl a smile. Have some pie. Pet the dog. Give Fred a hug.

                          Breath.


                          Follow David Todd McCarty on Twitter @davidtmccarty and The Standard @capemaystandard

                          Related

                          Tags: DogElvis CostelloEmpathyThanksgiving
                          Previous Post

                          The Problem With White Men

                          Next Post

                          Non-Violence Isn’t A Just Moral Imperative, It’s A Superior Strategy

                          David Todd McCarty

                          David Todd McCarty

                          David Todd McCarty is a writer, director, photographer and designer. You can follow him on Twitter @davidtmccarty.

                          Related Posts

                          America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair
                          Politics

                          America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

                          May 3, 2022
                          There’s Something About Mary
                          Health

                          There’s Something About Mary

                          November 25, 2021
                          The Shocking Kindness Of Ted Lasso
                          Culture

                          The Shocking Kindness Of Ted Lasso

                          October 4, 2021
                          What Your Ring Tone Says About You
                          Culture

                          What Your Ring Tone Says About You

                          April 2, 2021
                          Award-Winning Children’s Author Greg Pizzoli Planning A Virtual Visit To Cape May
                          Education

                          Award-Winning Children’s Author Greg Pizzoli Planning A Virtual Visit To Cape May

                          March 13, 2021
                          A View Of Goshen In Winter
                          Culture

                          A View Of Goshen In Winter

                          March 11, 2021
                          Next Post
                          Non-Violence Isn’t A Just Moral Imperative, It’s A Superior Strategy

                          Non-Violence Isn’t A Just Moral Imperative, It’s A Superior Strategy

                          Meta

                          • Register
                          • Log in
                          • Entries feed
                          • Comments feed
                          • WordPress.org
                          • Trending
                          • Comments
                          • Latest
                          You Are Not Welcome Here

                          You Are Not Welcome Here

                          August 13, 2020
                          Social Distancing Fails At Ocean City High School

                          Social Distancing Fails At Ocean City High School

                          September 9, 2020
                          Trump, Chauncey Gardiner, And America’s Accidental Presidency

                          Trump, Chauncey Gardiner, And America’s Accidental Presidency

                          January 29, 2020
                          Open Letter To South Jersey Committee Chairs

                          Open Letter To South Jersey Committee Chairs

                          1
                          The Left’s Purity Dilemma, or Don’t Get Fooled Again

                          The Left’s Purity Dilemma, or Don’t Get Fooled Again

                          1
                          Let the Voters Decide

                          Let the Voters Decide

                          1
                          The Death of Privacy In America

                          The Death of Privacy In America

                          May 4, 2022
                          America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

                          America Sits At The Nexus of Fear, Rage, and Despair

                          May 3, 2022
                          Who Was Responsible For Fake News?

                          Who Was Responsible For Fake News?

                          March 9, 2022

                          ©2019 Hopping Frog Studios, LLC.

                          No Result
                          View All Result
                          • Home
                          • Politics
                          • Justice
                          • Environment
                          • Health
                          • Education
                          • Housing
                          • Business
                          • Culture
                          • Sports
                          • National
                          • Opinion
                          • Login
                          • Sign Up

                          ©2019 Hopping Frog Studios, LLC.

                          Welcome Back!

                          Sign In with Facebook
                          OR

                          Login to your account below

                          Forgotten Password? Sign Up

                          Create New Account!

                          Fill the forms below to register

                          All fields are required. Log In

                          Retrieve your password

                          Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

                          Log In
                          This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.Accept Read More
                          Privacy & Cookies Policy

                          Privacy Overview

                          This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
                          Necessary
                          Always Enabled
                          Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
                          Non-necessary
                          Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
                          SAVE & ACCEPT
                           

                          Loading Comments...
                           

                          You must be logged in to post a comment.